BEHIND THE MUSIC
I was performing on a stage that had a rotating platform, and when I stepped off of it onto solid ground, I fell right on my butt! To make matters worse, the audience got to see it happening larger than life on the Jumbotron screen! I got up, brushed myself off, and asked, “Did you all catch that?” — then had the stage technicians replay the scene for anyone who missed it.
HOT FOR TEACHER
One sultry late-spring afternoon, I picked up my daughter from kindergarten and brought her to the high school where I teach. I ran into my boss and mentioned how warm it had been in my classroom. Just then, my daughter stretched out her arms. Thinking she was going in for a hug, I leaned toward her — but she lifted up my shirt, flashing my boss! Humiliated, I asked her what she thought she was doing. She replied, “You said you were hot, and at home you just take your shirt off. I was trying to help!”
I was on a flight and needed to use the restroom. I didn’t notice that the seat was up, so when I sat down and flushed, I became instantly vacuum-sucked to the toilet! I couldn’t escape the bowl, and sought assistance from the female flight attendant. When she wasn’t able to help, the male copilot had to come pry me loose. After I was released, they gave me a towel to cover up my wet bum — but I really wanted to put it over my head instead as I walked back to my seat.
I take reservations for a truck-rental company, so I have to ask clients for their credit card number and expiration date. On one particularly busy day of nonstop calls, I was barely able to remember my own name. So when taking a customer’s reservation, I first asked for his name, and then immediately followed with, “Expiration date?” Startled, the man replied, “I hope not soon!”
When my husband and I thought our 6-year-old daughter was asleep one night, we decided to enjoy some intimate alone time together. As we were in the heat of it all, I screamed “No!” several times because the excitement was just too much to handle. Just then, our daughter walked into the darkened room and said, “Daddy, when Mommy says no, you have to listen the first time!” I guess I taught her well.
While at the mall, I desperately had to go to the bathroom, so I took my 3-year-old daughter with me into the stall. As I was getting ready to sit down, I hung my jacket and purse over her shoulder. She looked up at me with disgust and said, “What do you think I am, Mommy — a hooker?”
FRIENDSHIP FAUX PAS
When I finally made a friend my own age in my area, I happily accepted when she invited me to a concert. Afterward, she asked me how I liked it. “It was great — except for that lady who sang at the end of the program,” I replied. “What a terrible voice!” My newfound friend looked at me and quietly said, “Oh…that was my mother.” Insert foot in mouth!
West Milford, NJ
When I returned from my daily lunchtime walk, I grabbed my work clothes from my desk area and went to the bathroom to change out of my sweats. While getting dressed, I realized that I didn’t have my panties. Panicked, I immediately retraced my steps. Sure enough, my pink thong was midway between the bathroom and my desk — untouched by anyone but surely noticed by all!
Those aren’t the only embarrassing stories:
Jennifer Love Hewitt and more
Gabrielle Union and more
Felicity Huffman and more
Has something really embarrassing happened to you?
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