Let’s be real: You are stressed and ambitious. But since falling in love—and staying that way—is a pretty high priority for most of us, it’s important to realize you can balance love along with, well, life (look at Michelle Obama!). “If you’re struggling to keep all of the balls in the air, talk to your guy about it—the right one will support your career and other aspects of life so that you feel 100 percent happy,” say Lane and Spera. In other words, if you need to devote less energy to date night or have him tuck the kids in at night because you’re gunning for a promotion, that’s cool—just don’t ditch them completely, and don’t demand he do all the work. That tells your husband that re-connecting doesn’t take priority and his opinions don’t matter, which can build up his walls. Remember, “romance has just as much potential to bring lessons, richness, and adventure into your life as your dream job,” says Berman, and if you sacrifice one for the other, you may find none of it was worth it in the end.